Toxic Relationships

Nobody knows that they are in a toxic relationship until after something drastic happens to them. For me personally, I have been in two. I didn't know about either one of them until I sat back and reflected on them both.

Signs that you are in a toxic relationship:

1.) You cannot talk to any of your friends of the opposite sex 2.) They buy you things when they mess up or when they feel like they going to get caught 3.) When you steady asking for the same thing and they don't give it to you but can give it to others 4.) When you feel like you are doing a lot more but getting nothing in return 5.) LOTS of negativity 6.) Lack of trust 7.) Diminishes your self-worth 8.) Feelings of unworthiness 9.) Empty pretense 10.) Feeling drained

These are just some of the signs of a toxic relationship. Now If you are feeling any of these things I would first communicate with my partner and then go from there. If you tend to notice that you are repeating yourself over and over and not getting any results, then it is time to let it go and move on. You do not have to stay because you love them or because they have been there for you. From personal experience, I have repeated myself quite some time and asked for the same thing over and over and I have yet to see any difference. Granted I love him but at the end of the day, I am I hurting myself in the end because I am not getting what I need. It is not like I am sitting up here asking for a million dollars or even material things. All I want is to be shown that I am actually worth being there for and that I am loved and that I have support.

I was told in previous relationships that I couldn't talk to my male best friends because they thought we were secretly dating. So I lost them for a year and a half, I reached out to them and got our connection back stronger than before because at the end of the day they were there when I was really and truly finding myself in high school. I was also told how to dress because what I wore was inappropriate and I needed to be fully clothed. I couldn't do that I tried but I stood up for myself and said: " Unless you going to buy my clothes then I am wearing whatever I want to regardless!"

This is not love nor them looking out for you. This is them making sure that they have the upper hand on you. They want to be in control of you and make sure that you aren't going anywhere. I have been in a relationship where I got everything I ever wanted just because I said I liked it and little did I know that he wasn't doing it just of love but to make sure that I knew that I wasn't going anywhere. All because I couldn't afford it.

Never settle because you think you can change them because you can't. Never say well I love them and he wouldn't do that to me. When your friends say that they don't think this a good relationship 9 times out of 10 they are right. It took me a year to realize that I was in a toxic relationship and then another year to realize it again. I still have mad respect for them but at the end of the day I know how I want and need to be treated and I can't allow myself to get treated less than a queen now.

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