As we all know there are more and more media being out about the LBGTQ+ Community. If it isn't positive (ie Gabrielle Union-Wade and Dwyane Wade supporting their eleven-year-old son at a Pride Parade) then it's negative (Chick-Fil-A donating to anti-LGBTQ groups). I am here to just enlighten you on some of the reason why people of the LGBTQ Community are either distance, rude, or in a way carefree. It's fairly simple, they just want to be treated as a person and not as an outcast. For example, if a girl says she's bisexual everyone is okay with that and she is accepted in the community. For the simple fact that "this is a phase and she will grow out of it". BUT if a guy says that he is bisexual is all hell breaks loose. I am talking, "oh that nigga gay" or "he getting dick from the back" or "Nah I don't fuck with dude because I don't get down like that". What the hell is the difference? So when guys run a train on a female is that not gay? But you can be in the room watching this man have sexual intercourse with this girl and both of y'all dicks are out? Okay. With this blog my hopes are, for you to be able to get a better understanding of the community and to realize that just because the person standing next to you is gay doesn't mean that you can treat them less of a person.
So I went to Twitter and Instagram and asked a few questions.
Why do you accept a woman being bisexual but not a man? (DM me your response everything will be anonymous)
"tbh, It’s really bc of bias as far as my answer goes I feel like a man should be manly and when I think about a man doing oral or being penetrated by another man it automatically makes me feel like they’re not manly anymore. this sounds horrible lol but it’s just my views at the same time I feel like men shouldn’t use that as an example as to why they don’t tell women they’re Bi bc at the end of the day everyone has their “type” and it should be respected."
"America is based on the root of masculinity. Its just not something people are comfortable knowing or seeing. Ion be trippin tho."
"Because I don't want a man who takes dick better than me."
"Honestly, I think it’s rooted in fear that i won’t be able to please him the same way. Like there are plenty of ways to please a woman in very similar, & in some ways better, than a man could please her. But as a woman, I don’t think I could please a man who is pleased by other men on the same level."
"I think society does this because of the patriarchal mindset. They equate bisexuality among wombyn as a means of they can have both women, which is what most men dream of. When the truth is every bisexual wombyn who wishes to cultivate monogamous relationships, isn't into the idea."
"Alright so I accept the community but as long as the dude or whatever don’t try no shit my way. They cool n all, but can’t really hold certain convo wit them like you would do with some one like your bro/sis"
Why do you use labels? (DM me your response everything will be anonymous)
"Using labels helps bring awareness to the different Forms of sexuality and gender and shows how they all are different but coexist. For example as a cis gendered bisexual woman I have a different experience than a transgendered bisexual woman. Not better or worst, just different."
"I would rather not but i guess that's something the patriarchal community made up so they could try to understand anything that's not a heterosexual relationship. Nobody labels heterosexual females that are more tomboyish than other females. Or dudes that are heterosexual that act less masculine than others. They’re just man and women"
What’s your definition of labels? ie your sexuality, to identify who you are, etc. (DM me your response everything will be anonymous)
"Sexually is different. I feel like there should be a label on your sexuality so ppl know who you are attracted to."
"When I hear label I think of like a box of cereal. Meaning you know when you walk into the store and see a box of Captain Crunch you know what you are getting. So when people ask me what am I or who am I attracted to I say well first of "I'm Kyy and I'm attracted to both male and female, why?" because who I choose to love, date, have sex with etc., DOES NOT define me in any which way."
"Ways to help define a thing"
What’s the point of using or not using labels? (DM me your response everything will be anonymous)
"I’m guess I’ll be what people call “Bi” but I don’t identify as that because I’ve only had sexual desires for other woman. But I can never see myself in a relationship with one So I don’t use a label when it comes to my sexuality, honestly if somebody ask me I’m straight"
"Labels help to provide a sense of belonging, a sense of identity. The key is not to be confined to one thing, since that one thing can belong to many things within the same group of things. People can be complex yet simple. Allowing for Fluidity is key.
Labels are fundamental in the LGBTQ Community if you ask me because you never know what someone goes by. I have a friend who is pansexual and I was like why when you could just identify as bisexual but her reasoning made much more sense in a way that I didn't think about. Most people don't use labels because they do not want to feel as if they are being limited to who or what they can do but YOU make that decision, not some label that identifies you as apart of something. A label doesn't limit you more than you are by saying that you don't use labels because you agree with more than one thing.
Do you understand pronouns?
Do you know how to ask someone what their pronouns are?
Pronouns are the following:
She, her, hers, herself He, him, his, himself They, them, their, themselves
Gender Neutral/ Gender Inclusive Pronouns are the following:
He/She : zie, sie, ey, ve, tey, e
Him/Her: zim, sie, em, ver, ter, em
His/Her: zir, hir, eir, vis, tem, eir
His/Hers: zis, hirs, eirs, vers, ters, eirs,
Himself/Herself: zieself, hierself,
When asking someone about their pronouns do it on a one on one basis DO NOT do it in a group or with others around. You do not want to trigger anyone or wanting them to feel singled out. If you don't know what their pronouns are when you are talking to them, use the third person. Meaning keep it like them, their, they, themselves. So how I go about asking someone what their pronouns are, I simply ask what do you refer to be called? Don't make it a big deal because not everyone will see it as a big thing. Once you hang around with this person more often it will come naturally for you. So don't stress because you keep forgetting, I promise they'll be understanding.
Do you know what LGBTQ stands for?
LGBTQ means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer
Lesbian: A female who is physically, emotionally and/or spiritually attracted to other females.
Queer: strange; odd
Gay: Generally refers to a male who is physically, emotionally and/or spiritually attracted to other males. May also refer to females who are attracted to other females, as well as the gay community in general.
Bisexual: A person who has significant sexual, romantic and/or spiritual attractions to both men and women
Bi-curious: a curiosity toward experiencing attraction to people of the same gender/sex
Cisgender: a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and gender identity correspond in the expected way
Fluid: generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluid(ity) describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options available (e.g., man and woman, bi and straight).
Pansexual: a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.”
Flexisexual: A sexuality in which one's sexual attraction changes over time, sometimes on a day to day basis, sometimes over the course of a month, depends on the person for the exact time
Polyamorous: fers to the practice of, desire for, or orientation toward having ethical, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include multiple partners). Often shortened to “poly.”
Questioning: An individual who is currently questioning his or her gender or sexual identity.
Transsexual: A person who not only has a transgendered identity, but who relates themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally as a member of the opposite sex
Transgender: a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) from living as one gender to another.
So I hope this helped you more to understand the community a bit more, and all I truly ask is to just treat gay people like people and not like someone who doesn't exist. You never know who you may need in the future and what they identify as. Below are the links that used for the definitions. There are a lot more terms than just those. So if you would like to learn more be my guest. As always I am here to be a voice for the unheard and if you would like for me to touch on a topic just direct message me on anything or email me.