Are Friendships Fundamental in College?


*cues "What About Your Friends" by TLC*

So everyone has friends, some more than others, but friends in college is a major part of your life. Why? Because these are the people that will you be able to keep in your life throughout your years of college. These friend groups have a meaning to whether it's studying for a test, going out into town, or even just to sit around the house and watch movies and do each other hair.

So personally, I missed out on my friend group in college because during my freshman year that was my first "group". I was in the band and I don't like meeting new people so I only stayed with the guard (ya girl use to twirl flags). We literally did everything together until our sophomore year came about and I was joining my sorority, things got rocky. I was been talked about and all and I didn't know nor understood why. So after I crossed I was trying to do more things with them, but they weren't having that. I remember this as if it was yesterday, I went to a basketball game with my spec/mentor and my "friends" was there too. So Britney and I walked in the game and I receive a text and it read "Oh you join a sorority and forget who your friends are" at that point I was lost for words. That's when I knew that the bond we had was over. It took me a year to actually like the people in my chapter I only stayed around two other people and my line sister and I was always in some mess because I was the quiet one and everyone just knew that I was an easy target.

So anywho fast forward to today's time, I literally only hang with my sorority and if I am not with them I am in hibernation in my room. I realized that I am only social when I have to be other than that, I really just mind my own and be chillin'.

So I went to twitter and asked the following questions:

Did you come to college with a group of friends?

  • Yes 21%

  • No 79%

How many “friend groups” did you have while in college?

  • 1-4 71%

  • 5-8 29%

  • 9+ 0%

When did you find your solid group of friends?

  • Freshman Year 29%

  • Sophomore Year 21%

  • Junior Year 36%

  • Senior Year 14%

Do you struggle making friends in college?

  • Yes 13%

  • No 40%

  • Kinda 47%

Were you able to confide in this group of people off the back?

  • Yes 67%

  • No 33%

Do you still talk to your friends from your childhood?

  • Yes 68%

  • No 32%

Are those friendships still strong like before or are they fading?

  • Still Strong 19%

  • Fading 38%

  • In the Middle 43%

As you can see, it is hard for most to make friends in college, and the friends that they do still have from their childhood days are still around as well. Some friends are here for a lifetime and others are here for a season. Madea said it best, "Some people are meant to come into your life for a lifetime, some for only a season and you got to know which is which. And you're always messing up when you mix those seasonal people up with lifetime expectations.

I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. When the wind blows, they're over there... wind blow that way they over here... they're unstable. When the seasons change they wither and die, they're gone. That's alright. Most people are like that, they're not there to do anything but take from the tree and give shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't get mad at people like that, that's who they are. That's all they were put on this earth to be. A leaf.

Some people are like a branch on that tree. You have to be careful with those branches too, cause they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong but the minute you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry.

But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that's like the roots at the bottom of that tree you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that aren't going nowhere. They aren't worried about being seen, nobody has to know that they know you, they don't have to know what they're doing for you but if those roots weren't there, that tree couldn't live.

A tree could have a hundred million branches but it only takes a few roots down at the bottom to make sure that the tree gets everything it needs. When you get some roots, hold on to them but the rest of it... just let it go. Let folks go."

So remember to build that bond and even if you are like me and struggle with making friends in college it's okay because I know who are my roots and they have been here since high school. So your roots might be the ones you trusted a while back and you might just have to reconnect with them and then you will see that they have never left your side.

#relationships #mentalhealth #support

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